Congratulations!

The Community of St. Mary’s is honored that you have decided to celebrate your marriage in our parish. We want to assist you in every way possible as you prepare for this joyful and sacred event and for the journey you will share in the years ahead. Please email Kathleen Leary at email at [email protected] if you have any questions or concerns. We want to help you so your wedding will be everything you want it to be.
 

Times for Weddings

Friday: 3:00 PM and 5:00 PM
Saturday: 11:00 AM—1:00 PM and 3:00 PM
Sunday: 3:00 PM
 

Witnesses

The official witnesses (Best Man and Maid/Matron of Honor) may be Catholic or non-Catholic and must be at least 14 years of age.
 

Rehearsals

Rehearsals are scheduled at the time you reserve the church for your wedding. They usually take place the evening before your wedding. If you would like your rehearsal on a different night, that is fine with us—just let us know. Rehearsals last 45 minutes and are scheduled at 6:30, 7:15 and 8:00 PM.

IT IS IMPORTANT THAT YOUR WEDDING PARTY ARRIVES ON TIME FOR YOUR REHEARSAL.
During the rehearsal we will walk through the ceremony so everyone will be comfortable. Only the wedding party, parents and visiting clergy need to come to the rehearsal. The wedding license should be brought to the rehearsal to be signed.

St. Mary’s provides a Wedding Rehearsal Coordinator who will conduct the rehearsal and who will help any visiting clergy with any assistance they may need.

Documents 

1. A recent copy of your Baptismal Certificate.
You can get this by contacting the Church where you were baptized and they will send it to you. If you were baptized here at St. Mary’s, we will provide the Baptismal Certificate for you.

2. A copy of your Pre-Cana Certificate which indicates you attended and completed the sessions.

3. Civil License
Just one month before the wedding date, the two of you, along with one witness who knows you, need to go to the Marriage License Bureau of the Municipality of the Bride.

If the bride is a nonresident and the groom is a resident of New Jersey, the license is obtained from the Registrar in his municipality.

There you will make your application for a Civil Marriage License, and then you will have to wait 72 hours, as required by law, before the license will be issued to you. Once the license is issued, it is valid for one month. Please do not wait till the last minute to do this because they will not bend the rules.

Please note: A license issued under either of the preceding circumstances is good for use anywhere in the State of 
New Jersey.

If both bride and groom are nonresidents of the state, the license is obtained from the Registrar of the Municipality where the wedding is to take place and may be used only in that municipality.
 

Fees

A deposit of $325 is required when you reserve the church. 
Your payment will be acknowledged, and this will confirm
that your date and time have been set in the church calendar. 

 

 

Flowers and Decorations--You may have as little or as much floral decorations as you choose. You may wish to collaborate with other couples who are being married on the same day as you about sharing the expense of flowers. Flowers may not be placed on the altar.

The florist may come in one-half hour before your wedding.

Tape is not allowed to secure decorations on the pews. Rubber bands or string may be used since they will not leave marks. Pew decorations will be removed after the wedding and discarded unless you wish to keep them. Please do not leave your flowers in the church. Please make arrangements to have someone take them after the ceremony. Any flowers left in the church will be discarded at the discretion of church personnel.

Please note that any decorations, banners or flowers in place for the liturgical seasons may not be moved or adjusted in any way. For example, we will not take down our Christmas trees for a wedding on December 27. Don’t laugh—a couple once asked if we would!

Photographs and Video—It is not necessary for your photo-grapher/videographer to speak with the priest/deacon. They are not permitted in the sanctuary during the ceremony and we trust they will be respectful as they perform their service. 

Runner—The church is carpeted and to ensure your safety as well as your guests, the use of a runner is not permitted.

Rice, Confetti, Bird Seed, Balloons, Flower Petals—Rice, confetti, bird seed and flower petals may not be thrown due to insurance concerns and no exceptions will be made. Also, balloons may not be released into the air. Many couples are having their guests use bubbles or ring small silver bells.

Candles—Candelabras are not permitted. Damage done by spilled wax on the carpets is the reason this decision has been made. Pew candles are available for a rental fee of $100. St. Mary’s provides a beautiful Unity candle if you choose not to buy one.

Parking—Please request that your guests NOT block the driveways of the homes across from the church. This could result in being ticketed by the Pompton Lakes Police Department. There is ample parking behind the church.

Alcohol and Drug Policy—The consumption of alcohol and illegal substances is absolutely forbidden in the church or on any church property before, during or after the wedding rehearsal or wedding ceremony. The wedding party and wedding guests are asked not to come to the rehearsal or wedding in any form of intoxication. The pastor or presiding priest or deacon has the right to refuse entry to the church to any person he deems intoxicated—even if that person is a member of the wedding party. An intoxicated person is forbidden from serving as the Best Man or Maid/Matron of Honor. The pastor or the presiding priest or deacon will determine if any person is intoxicated.

Major Elements to the Marriage Preparation Program

I. Information Night and FOCCUS Questionnaire
Given six times a year. Sign-up takes place at the time you reserve the church.
II. Pre-Marriage Program
This requirement can be met by attending an Engaged Encounter Weekend, a one-day Pre-Marriage Seminar at St. Mary’s, or by attending a Pre-Marriage program at another parish.
III. Private Sessions
These are meetings with the priest/deacon who will witness your marriage.
IV. Rehearsal
Date and time should be set when you reserve the church for your wedding.
V. Documents and Fees
VI. Important Information

 

Information Night and FOCCUS Questionnaire

This is an evening where we try to accomplish two things:
• provide the information needed to plan your wedding, and
• have you complete a FOCCUS Questionnaire
Plan to spend an hour with us beginning at 7:30 PM in the Church Hall. We will go over the questions we are asked most frequently by couples planning their weddings. We will answer any questions you have because of a particular need or special circumstance.
The second part of the evening is centered around the FOCCUS Questionnaire. It is a tool we use to help a couple see if they are communicating well in the different areas of their relationship. The results of the FOCCUS Questionnaire will be reviewed with you by the priest/deacon who is helping you prepare for your wedding.

Pre-Marriage Program

All couples being married at St. Mary’s are required to attend and participate in a Marriage Preparation Program. St. Mary’s offers its own Pre-Marriage Program twice a year—April and October.

Our Pre-Marriage Program is designed to offer you a special opportunity to learn from the experience of others and also to let you talk together about your future life—your strengths and weaknesses; your expectations and goals; your attitudes toward money, careers, sex, children, family and your faith and the role the Church plays in your life. It is a great day and one that everyone enjoys.

An Engaged Encounter or some form of Marriage Preparation Program offered by another parish is also a means of fulfilling this requirement.

A copy of your Marriage Preparation/PreCana or Engaged Encounter Certificate must be presented to the priest or deacon who is celebrating your wedding.
 

Private Sessions

Who will celebrate your wedding at St. Mary’s? That is up to you. You should decide which of the parish priests or deacons you would like to be a part of the preparations for and the celebration of your marriage. If you have no preference, a priest or deacon will be assigned.

If you would like a priest from another parish or diocese to witness your marriage, that is fine, but please let us know. Someone from St. Mary’s will be assigned to you to take care of the paperwork and help you prepare for your wedding, so the visiting priest will not have to worry about this.

There are usually at least two to three meetings with the priest or deacon who will be the celebrant at your marriage. During these meetings a relationship is established which helps to insure that wedding is very personal and special. All the details for your wedding will be worked out during these meetings.

Ecumenical weddings are common at St. Mary’s. Non-Catholic ministers are welcome to participate in the celebration. Generally, the details of such celebrations are worked out with the couple by the priest/deacon and the minister/rabbi during the preparation meetings. It is permissible for a Catholic to be married in the church of his or her non-Catholic partner. If this is the case and your desire, please let the priest/deacon know right away so he can do all the necessary paperwork for you.

The Liturgical Guidelines for your wedding  can be found Here.  This form is to be filled out after you have met with your presider.  Please review and submit the form to choose the Readings and details of your ceremony.  Please contact the Friar who will be presiding, or Kathleen Leary [email protected] the wedding coordinator with any questions. 

This page will provide you with information about the musicians at St. Mary's and different musical options available as you plan your wedding. 

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Church Accompanist:
Our  Church Accompanist, Carrie Stewart, will serve to help you plan the music for your wedding. She is entrusted with the task of judging the suitability of musical selections within the context of the Catholic wedding liturgy and must approve all music and musicians chosen for the ceremony. 

Please contact Carrie [email protected] at least two months prior to your ceremony to review your music. The Wedding Music Selection Form can be found Here.  Please review and submit the form to choose the music for your wedding. 

Cantor/Vocalist:
At St. Mary's we maintain a staff of professional singers who are available for your wedding. They are versed in the standard musical repertoire for Saint Mary's weddings and are familiar with the liturgical practices of the parish. Cantors can be heard at weekly masses. The fee for a cantor is included in your church wedding fee  and you may hire more than one cantor at additional cost ($150.00). 

Please Note: If you are considering hiring your own singer (or having a friend or family member perform), the  Music Director must approve all guest performers in advance. Generally guest performers will be limited to one song during the prelude, with the remainder of the ceremony sung by one of our cantors.

Instrumentalists:
We love having musicians (guitar, trumpet, etc.) join us for weddings, they add a very special and personal feel to the ceremony. If you'd like to hire an instrumentalist the Church Accompanist will secure their services. In general you should budget about $200-250 per player (trumpet, violin, or flute) hired through St. Mary's. Harpists generally receive a slightly higher fee to cover cartage of their instrument. A string quartet, trio or other ensembles are contracted independently of St Mary's and each ensemble sets its fee independently. For more information, please see contact us.

House Band:   
For a truly joyful musical experience, you may wish to have the Sunday morning house band present for your wedding. Please contact us for additional information.

Music fees for the Church Accompanist, and one cantor are included in your Wedding Fees.  Any additional musicians fees are paid two weeks prior to the Wedding date.  Payments for musicians that are not St. Mary's staff will be paid directly by the Bride and Groom. Checks can be mailed to  to St. Mary's c/o Wedding Fees ( your name and date)31 Pompton Ave. Pompton Lakes NJ 07442